How to Be the Hero of Your Own Life

Captain Marvel. Wonder woman. Daenerys Targaryen.

Lately (or more like finally!) we are seeing more and more female heroes.

Yet while these women might seem distant and unattainable in their power and their strength, they are here to remind us of the ever present truth; how to be heroes in our own lives.

Because you don’t need super powers to be a force of good in the world.


So what can we learn from these super powered, fast hitting, intelligent role models?


Listen to your calling:


What is a calling? Well for starters, it might not necessarily mean saving the universe or defeating some big bad alien dude. Instead these story lines serve as a greater metaphor for our values and our purpose in the world. Your calling can be super simple or a big dream. Here are some examples:

  • Being the mother to your children
  • Serving your local community
  • Helping others
  • Making the world a better place
  • Raising awareness about saving the environment
  • Aiding a political movement
  • Bringing art to the world
  • Teaching others
  • Caring for the ill

See what I mean? Finding your calling doesn’t have to be hard or overcomplicated. Believe it or not, most people are already fulfilling it in some way. What can get trickier is when you want to make your calling the forefront of your life and how to make big goals around your calling come true. Not sure about your calling yet? Check out this exercise about Discovering Your Values .


Seek Allies:


Remember all those characters that you grew up reading about and defeating the bad guys? How many of them had sidekicks? How many of them needed that one expert, mentor, or friend to help them succeed on their quest? I’m betting all of them did. The truth is no one can do everything, even superheroes.

Who are the allies in your life? Are they your best friends? Relatives? Mentors and teachers that have helped you along the way?

Guess what- you should ask them for help! That’s what friends and allies do; create a network of support to help you succeed. In fact you’re probably someone else’s ally, mentor, or friend. Everyone’s got their own heroes quest, and working together makes the journey that much more rich. Help often comes in the most unexpected places after all.


Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway:

scarlet witch

I was going to say moving forward fearlessly, but we all know that’s a load of bull. Seriously.

What superhero do you know who was completely confident, blasé, and chilled out about saving the world? None! Did they know without fail that they would succeed? No!That’s why the story is so engaging: the truth is everyone feels fear. Everyone freaks out in the face of the unknown. So what do you do about it?

In order to be the hero of your own life, you gotta take a page out of their books. This means really feeling the fear. Feel where is sits in your body. The clammy sweat and the throat closing up. Fear lives as much in your body as in your mind. Then get okay with it.

Will feeling afraid kill you? No. Is it pleasant? Heck no! You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Then repeat. Over and over again. This is what makes it easier.

Ooof now that’s not what you wanted to hear was it? But why have super hero movies dominated theatres for the past ten years? Because it takes strength and courage to move past fear in any form. Remember that you have your own allies and mentors to help you.

Feeling silly about what you are afraid of? Don’t feel alone. Here’s some things I was afraid of:

  • Wearing a certain outfit that I liked
  • Getting photos taken of me
  • Taking my drivers test
  • Speaking in front of others

Fear doesn’t have to be about jumping out of a plane to be real!


Understand that Failure is Part of the Process:


This one is closely related to fear. If you’re afraid of failing this is for you. Failure is a part of life. We need to fail in order to learn from our mistakes.

One of the biggest ‘Failures’ I think of is Hilary Clinton’s run for president of the United States. Can you imagine getting so close to lose to that guy? Regardless of your political beliefs, imagine how much work goes into running for president, getting to the final phase, and running a political campaign. Only to have to walk away in defeat.

The world learned a ton from this failure. I bet Hilary did too.

The thing is, Hilary didn’t let that stop her. She is still a strong political figure. She took what she learned and wrote a book. She continues to fight for what she believes in and support many causes. Just because she didn’t become president doesn’t mean she isn’t a highly capable person, or erase the long history of what she has accomplished.

Now replace her with you. Just because you failed at that one thing doesn’t erase all you have done. Look back at some of your previous failures. How did it strengthen you? What lessons were you able to take forward and move into future success?

hilary clinton


Accept the Gifts you have Been Given:


Hey you know what? Everyone has gifts, hidden talents, and their own set of ‘superpowers’. The problem is that most of us are so busy obsessing over our flaws that we don’t give ourselves enough credit. So what if you can’t be perfect 100% of the time? What can you excel at? What’s something that others are always admiring you for? What comes with ease to you? That’s where your super power lies. Start taking credit for it! Start using it! After all, this is your unique gift. What would happen if you decided that instead of trying to ‘fix’ your flaws, you would spend your time nurturing this superpower?

My superpower? Manifesting. As soon as I started saying heck yeah I’m great at this it started happening faster. Perfect parking spots, free stuff, good luck… My friends actually get mad because of it! Yet I see others in my friends all the time; the power of connection, communication, humor, planning, organization, and more!


Return Twice as Strong:


At the end of the story we always see the hero standing triumphantly. Why? They’ve used their journey as a way to become stronger. They grew from their failures, met the challenge, relied on allies and mentors, and used their gifts for the greater good.

When did you return twice as strong? Don’t say you haven’t! Even children have done this. Think about how triumphant a baby is when they figure out how to stand, walk, or run. Fall after fall and they kept getting back up.

Maybe you ran a marathon. Solved a problem no one else could. Persisted in the face of failure. Whatever it is, use that experience when you move forward to help whatever you are facing now.

Want to take the next step as the hero of your own life? Life coaching can help you get where you’re going and move through the challenges you are currently facing. Email me at for more info!

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